My Ten Commandments

1.Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books.

2.Before you critizize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you critizize someone, you will be a mile away and have their shoes.

3.Life's a piece of shit, When you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true. You'll see it's all a show. Keep them laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

4.The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

5.In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.

6.It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

7.The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

8.By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

9.A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

10.Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass & think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work & their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer & let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.

Till then Aloha!!!!